So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
