Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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