True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
