is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Is Oprah even human
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
