I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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