Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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