she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
