lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize