Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
