I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
