I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
