my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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