and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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