Buhtt sex?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Operation Purity has been aborted
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
