Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
