Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize