it glows. i had to have it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize