can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
