I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
sex in a hospital.. check
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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