Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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