After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
even my farts smell like vagina
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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