he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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