She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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