You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize