I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
