Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
