So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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