so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
