When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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