i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
