Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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