i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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