Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
