My first STD was from a foam party
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
