So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
