If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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