I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
