Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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