You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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