Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize