i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
