There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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