why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
