Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
