Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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