Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How many fucks given?
0.12846
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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