only you would photoshop your dick
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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