You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize