Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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