problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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