dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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