yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
