im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
