my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
