i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
