I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
