hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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