Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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