you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
