Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
