I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize