He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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