make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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