In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Panties = found
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