Banned from zoo.
Again?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize