At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
