It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
