What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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