That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
