Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
