And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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